Big Kid Decisions.

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Dear Silas,

Do you ever just feel like you can’t catch a break? Of course you don’t, you’re a baby, and you are as easy going as they come. But one day you will feel like everything is out to get you. You’ll feel like no matter how hard you try, how much time you wait, or how much you prepare yourself for it, things just won’t go the way you’d initially hoped they’d go. And I will tell you what that time period is called. It’s called life. Every single day, something disappointing will happen. Something will make you second guess your choices, your actions or even the decisions you haven’t even made yet. I may have already scared you to death with what I have just said, but I am really here to tell you that it’s not the end. It’s not even close to being horrible. It’s not that scary. It’s just this thing called life that will yank, stretch, drag, mold and shape you to be the strong, independent, God-fearing man I hope you will be. I have seen your immense strength already, so I can only imagine you’ll grow stronger with every day.

May has been an intense month. It has made me relive some horrors, has filled me with excitement, with depression, with suspense and surprise, and has given me the chance to make big decisions that will affect all of us. It has been one giant wave of emotions for this mama. But what doesn’t kill ya, makes ya stronger, right?! First hand, I have really found this line to be true. Cliche as it may be, the tough things in life are really there to build us up to be one who can withstand the storms. I’m not stronger than a lot of people, but I am a much stronger ‘me’. A much more faith-filled ‘me’. All in all, it has been a very happy time, that I hope will carry over in to the months ahead.

Your Daddy and I have been searching high and low for the “perfect” home that we will raise you two boys in. It has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Not only has searching been hard, but qualifying for a loan, deciphering the mounds of paperwork to sign, and preparing ourselves for this next big step has been draining, for all of us.

Our “perfect” home has been hard to find. With staying within a budget, making sure we are located somewhere with exceptional schools, and finding a home in a neighborhood we like that is relatively move-in ready, we’ve been ALL over the place. We never stuck with a particular town, but we searched lots of places to get an idea of where we felt at home.

A few weeks ago, our good friend and agent had shown us a home that we absolutely have fallen in love with. We knew immediately as we stepped inside the home that it was meant for us. Everything from the details, to the space, to the neighborhood, schools and location were all lined up with our “must haves” and we knew we needed to make a decision. We didn’t realize until later that night that our decision would have to be a quick one. Two other offers were in on the table, so we sat down and we planned out what steps we would take.

Long story short, our offer got accepted and we are now in contract on the home. All we await now is an appraisal and the dreaded closing day where they will drain our bank account, but I am so overly happy at this point that I am willing to eat Ramen noodles for the next three months because I hope that it will be in the kitchen of our new home! It has been a crazy, hectic, suspenseful and beautiful month.

We have prayed so much over this and I have prayed long over whether this is God’s plan for us or not. I have seen God working in our lives, especially since your birth, and I feel good about everything. I feel good about our future.

We have a lot of people to thank for helping us to get to this point, and many people that we will need to thank down the road as they help us move forward. We are hopefully on to a new point in our lives, a fresh start, but we have not forgotten and will not forget all those who have supported and helped us throughout the hardships we’ve experienced over the last year. What seems impossible usually never is, especially when the helping hands of friends and family are there to help you stay above water. I hope that we will one day be able to repay each and every one of you with the same love and support you’ve shown to us.

June, I pray you will show us a lot of kindness. I pray that this appraisal goes well. I pray that the move in will be smooth going, if we get there. I pray for our families for having to put up with us as we transition in to a new experience. I pray for patience, understanding, and God’s voice in each and every decision from here on out.

Little Silas boy, we have some exciting days ahead.

Love love love,

Your Mama.

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