What a day, my little one. Your mother is exhausted, but much more than sleep, I just wish I could hold you.
Yesterday your daddy and I went to our routine Monday appointment for an N.S.T and to check on your progress. I had just checked in with the receptionist as your Aunt Rhonda, our Nurse Practitioner, came out to surprise us with the news that your surgeon had come in earlier that day to schedule us to be induced the following day (today). WOW, was I speechless! I was really getting close to meeting you. So much excitement, as well as an anxious uncertainty came over me.
We arrived today at the hospital by 8:30 AM and waited until 10:15 to be taken to our room. Our nurse was wonderful. She began an IV by 10:45 and the Pitocin came by 11:15. I really did not want to be induced, but your doctors felt that it was time for you to make an appearance.
All was well and contractions were tolerable until our doctor arrived to break my water around 3:20. On arrival to the hospital and up to that point, I had not really dilated much and had been sitting at a steady 5-6 cent. dilated. With a natural delivery experience that came with your brother, Carson, I was determined to give it a go again. Your mommy is extremely terrified of needles, and also does not like to take medication. You could also say that she is just insane.
I had forgotten the pain entirely after your brother was born, so as the first heavy contraction kicked in with you, the memory of the pain began to surface. Within an hour of excruciating pain and lots of screaming, crying and sitting for a while at a 7, I knew it was time to push you out. The nurse told me not to, but I told her that it was time for you to come out. Sure enough, she checked to see if you were ready and she immediately hopped up to go and grab our doctor. I pushed 3 times and there you were, my beautiful little Silas with your handsome head full of hair.
I cried when I saw you and I cried when I held you. You are everything I dreamed you would be and more. When the nurses in the NICU came to take you away my heart was broken, but I knew that you needed care and that you would be safe.
As soon as I could possibly get to you I was there. Everyone else had already gotten to come see you. Your nurse rubbed your head to calm you down and made you feel better. When I arrived to see you hooked up to so many monitors, my heart was very heavy. Though I know it is what you need, I wanted so badly to take your pain away. Not long after seeing you, Baptist showed up to carry you away.
You came in to this world and you have already changed my life. You have given me so much hope and faith and love. I can’t imagine my world without you in it.
Sleep well tonight, my love. I will see you soon.